Noblesse Oblige and other lies

We see more goats than cows. Goats and goats and goats. I like them.

The housemate situation's gotten more interesting/annoying. But it's temporary. It's a three bedroom apartment, with a sitting room (with doors) a tv room that's connected to the dining room, and a kitchen. The housekeeper, Hirin sleeps in the sitting room. There have been three housemates, more or less. Satya, an Indian guy who's originally from Hyderabad but left at 17 (lived all over the West and Singapore since then: he's back some 12 or 13 year later now)--he's easygoing and mellow, and willing to translate and act as a native informant, to a limited degree. Then there's Lance (who sleeps at a hotel, but hangs out at the house) the Chinese American ex-fratboy I wrote about recently, and then there's the intensely bossy blowhard Swede, Bjorn. We've come to an understanding; He tries to organize us and we act like cats. His American wife, Allison has recently joined us. She and Bjorn will leave next week. I'm very glad of that.

It's a shame too, since I was so intensely missing the company of women. I was looking forward to hanging out and going on shopping adventures together. Even if we had nothing in common (which we don't) I can still shop with pretty much anyone (how high maintenance can she be?) or so I thought. This is a woman who makes my shoulders hurt. She really really wants to be the lady of the house. I think she imagines herself as a delicate flower. Has nothing but disdain for India, and complains about pretty much everything. Here's the thing: yes, it's the third world. Deal. We have it really good here. Duh it's hot; it's SUMMER. No kidding there are strong smells from food and people. And noise, and music, and talking you don't understand. And yes, there are poor people. Dude: you live in LOS ANGELES. (But then, I come to find out, not really)

She actually said, when I suggested we go out in an autorickshaw if the driver wasn't available: I'm afraid of smells. She really needs to go home to Redondo Beach where she's going to have airconditioning installed. In their house near the beach. With the travertine floors, installed by a guy they want to recommend to us (dude: do you have any idea how much more money than us you have??)

Confronting one's privilege is hard. I really get that now. I understood that when the last time I went to Ensenada with my family I was freaked out by my relative wealth and resentment at having to give everyone money when I myself was broke in my own eyes. That was about 6 years ago, and I didn't really deal; I just felt guilty at buying hair products that cost 25 bucks). But I really get it now. Noblesse oblige is a big lie. Bjorn (who's been in the states for about 15 years) thinks he's got it, but really its condescension. I think I may well have some more empathy for my students and their freakouts when confronted by their relative privilege. Race and class privilege in particular (though straight privilege is really no joke).